2014

OH well, its been a while.
I’ve been re-reading my past posts and honestly I’m wondering if I have not been carrying all the symptoms of depression over the past years.

I’m still very melancholic. Still single. Still have no idea which path I am taking. Still haven’t lost any weight.

Well well, what more ? 2013 has been a year where i’ve discovered the rave culture & I felt in love with it. Unfortunately I am not enjoying it as much as I did when I first got introduced to it because it is becoming so mainstream. Which is unfortunate.

On another note, I’ve decided to meet someone from a dating website on Dec 24th 2013.
Yep, on christmas eve. I was somewhat desperate. (A girl’s gotta do what she gotta do.) Turns out we’ve been keeping this very casual, convenient and as i like to say clean. Although I am not sure this relation is so “clean”. It has occurred to me that he has been luring around other girls via internet. He says he hasn’t been seeing anyone else & I say I wouldn’t mind if he did but this is what i’ve been telling myself and truthfully, I just don’t get the need of seing numerus people all at the same time. Isn’t it already complicated enough trying to CASUALLY see one person?
That being said, I sometimes wonder if guys think i’m an unemotional bitch.
I don’t wanna be the post-it girl, the one that sticks everywhere but I also don’t wanna be that girl that doesn’t give a F. who boy’s end up not getting attached to, or getting sick of the attitude.

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22

Its that time of the year ;
Me nagging about being forever alone.

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Replying to my post: MAR 21 2013

Well, it seems like i’m the one doing that now.

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Question !

What about starting a REAL blog with my friend ? any ideas on how we could promote it ?
Any clue of what people would want to know ? to watch ?

We were thinking about vlogging too and we’re just throwing the ideas out i guess.

any suggestions or ideas would be good ! Thanks :)

Jsquare

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Protein pancakes ?

  • 1/2 cup egg whites
  • 1/2 banana, mashed
  • 1/4 tablespoon ground flaxseed
  • 1 tablespoon Perfect Fit protein powder ! 

 

I never knew how to make pancakes :D 

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I hate it when you talk to someone every single day and then it just stops. All of a sudden neither of you say a damn word to each other.

I hate it when …

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A girl can dream

Here I am writing a small post instead of studying.
Procrastination at its best.

It just happened that I started thinking about my life and I am realizing that my feelings might slowly re-appearing. Not towards someone in particular but in general.

What do I mean by that ? I’m startig to care about if someone gets mad at me.
I’m starting to want to see someone becoming maybe more than a casual encounter. I’m starting to act nicely towards people.

I guess those are stuffs that normal people face e everyday but I’m usually the kind of person hard headed that’s too afraid to involve any kind of feelings in any kind of relationship. Wether it’s friendship or just encounter.

Here, this it it.

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No good without bad

I almost forgot to wish myself happy birthday.

As today was passing by, I had exiting news. I was even LOVING MY LIFE.

This whole week was awesome and I haven’t been that bubbly for a long time.

& of course, something bad had to happen.

 

I knew that weird feeling I had today in the bus would be bad news.

This sensation of having my finger cut was really unpleasant. I thought I was making up ideas and everything.

Turns out one little thing can totally crash my mood.

I get emotional over nothing serious… And that’s probably why I block every kind of feelings I would have towards someone.

How could anyone like me if I can’t even like myself ?

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Monday, february 18th 2013 – No direction

Just about the moment I was going to describe my day as a failure, something out of the blue came out.
Turns out when I was thinking about letting all my hopes of getting implicated in any student activities, some other opportunities came up.

I’m actually really glad to have met some people that wants to get into this world as much as I do.

After my session with my orientation counsellor, all I figure out was that I had no clue where I was heading to in my studies.

Turns out I pretty much like everything.
I can say that I love management and she will ask me why and I can give all the reasons why I should be studying in Management.
I could say I love Marketing and give out all the reasons why I should be opting for that field instead.
My problem is that I’m not someone that has a precise opinion.

I mostly follow the “trend” as we could say.
I know I want to be successful in what I will achieve later on, no matter what I will be doing.
The only thing is that I have no clue what I’m good at .

This might seems like I’m degrading myself like my friend tells me…but from my point of view, I think of it much more as how lost I am.

direction

Any clue how I could figure out myself ?

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