Happy Valentine’s day

Happy Valentine's day

love

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Someday you’ll miss her like she missed you. Someday you’ll need her like she needed you. Someday you’ll love her and she won’t love you.

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How can he be the perfect guy one night and act like a total jerk not even 10 hours after.
After all these years..it was the first time i’ve ever seen him acting like this.

The perfect gentlemen.

Next thing you know, he’s not giving a fuck anymore.

My high school girl crush kind of re-appeared for a split of a second.

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Lazy as fck

So recently i’ve been very but very lazy. Haven’t done any school work.
Have been skipping classes
Haven’t really been to work..
All this because i’m either a really lazy fcking person or its because I’m sick and its draining all my energy. Especially when im trying to breath.

Basically, every 2-3 months I get sick (not literally this time) of everything i my life…. I don’t know if it’s a syndrome of depression but whatsoever..

So ive been thinking a lot about how nothing in my life has changed.

Im gonna be 22 years old soon and I still haven’t been in any kind of relationship.

I’m in university but I still haven’t figure out what field I should be studying in. (if its still not too late).

I’m suppose to be move out this summer but still wasn’t able to save up $.

Still have nothing in my saving account.

Still fat as fck.

Still not likable.

Welll . Here goes many years of my life wasted on nothing !

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Call me crazy but I feel like I’m just pouring all my anger from FSL to P.

P. is a guy who really nicely asked for my number when I was out last week. Since then, I’ve been acting weird and I know it. 

I don’t want to rush things & I wanna go with the flow.

But I’m already over reacting over everything. I feel like he’s not trying hard enough or I don’t know.

With FSL, it was easier, he had no phone 🙂 But he still managed to talk to me everyday.

When P. finally textes me, you never know if he’s going to answer right away  or the next day.

I’m the kind of girl  that overthinks over anything and when this happens, I’m rethinking about the last message I wrote, or even our full conversation. Maybe I missed a sign. Maybe I said something that pissed him off. Maybe I explain too much. Maybe I should’ve waited to txt…

 

All this because I just hope it wont end like FSL.

 

 

:)

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And in january :

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When you’re happy, you enjoy the music. But when you’re sad you understand the lyrics.

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