Tag Archives: life

2014

OH well, its been a while.
I’ve been re-reading my past posts and honestly I’m wondering if I have not been carrying all the symptoms of depression over the past years.

I’m still very melancholic. Still single. Still have no idea which path I am taking. Still haven’t lost any weight.

Well well, what more ? 2013 has been a year where i’ve discovered the rave culture & I felt in love with it. Unfortunately I am not enjoying it as much as I did when I first got introduced to it because it is becoming so mainstream. Which is unfortunate.

On another note, I’ve decided to meet someone from a dating website on Dec 24th 2013.
Yep, on christmas eve. I was somewhat desperate. (A girl’s gotta do what she gotta do.) Turns out we’ve been keeping this very casual, convenient and as i like to say clean. Although I am not sure this relation is so “clean”. It has occurred to me that he has been luring around other girls via internet. He says he hasn’t been seeing anyone else & I say I wouldn’t mind if he did but this is what i’ve been telling myself and truthfully, I just don’t get the need of seing numerus people all at the same time. Isn’t it already complicated enough trying to CASUALLY see one person?
That being said, I sometimes wonder if guys think i’m an unemotional bitch.
I don’t wanna be the post-it girl, the one that sticks everywhere but I also don’t wanna be that girl that doesn’t give a F. who boy’s end up not getting attached to, or getting sick of the attitude.

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I hate it when you talk to someone every single day and then it just stops. All of a sudden neither of you say a damn word to each other.

I hate it when …

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No good without bad

I almost forgot to wish myself happy birthday.

As today was passing by, I had exiting news. I was even LOVING MY LIFE.

This whole week was awesome and I haven’t been that bubbly for a long time.

& of course, something bad had to happen.

 

I knew that weird feeling I had today in the bus would be bad news.

This sensation of having my finger cut was really unpleasant. I thought I was making up ideas and everything.

Turns out one little thing can totally crash my mood.

I get emotional over nothing serious… And that’s probably why I block every kind of feelings I would have towards someone.

How could anyone like me if I can’t even like myself ?

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Lazy as fck

So recently i’ve been very but very lazy. Haven’t done any school work.
Have been skipping classes
Haven’t really been to work..
All this because i’m either a really lazy fcking person or its because I’m sick and its draining all my energy. Especially when im trying to breath.

Basically, every 2-3 months I get sick (not literally this time) of everything i my life…. I don’t know if it’s a syndrome of depression but whatsoever..

So ive been thinking a lot about how nothing in my life has changed.

Im gonna be 22 years old soon and I still haven’t been in any kind of relationship.

I’m in university but I still haven’t figure out what field I should be studying in. (if its still not too late).

I’m suppose to be move out this summer but still wasn’t able to save up $.

Still have nothing in my saving account.

Still fat as fck.

Still not likable.

Welll . Here goes many years of my life wasted on nothing !

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